


Tore Out my Own Heart, Couldn't Bear to Break Yours

by lavenderlotion



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Multi, Post-Nogitsune, Post-Season/Series 03, Unhappy Ending, breaking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 21:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17967971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: 54. “I’m not good enough for you & 56. I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”





	Tore Out my Own Heart, Couldn't Bear to Break Yours

**Author's Note:**

  * For [What_The_Hell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_The_Hell/gifts).



> Prompted from [this prompt list](Https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/post/183092383274/writing-prompts).
> 
> Unbeta’d

“I’m not good enough for you,” Stiles said, choking on the words as they scraped their way out of his throat. He shrugged when Chris glared at him, and it caused his shirt to hike up enough that he felt the cool air of Peter’s apartment against his midriff. This shirt used to hang past his waist. “I’m not...I’m not _good_ , anymore. I can’t—I can’t do this.”

“Darling,” Peter's voice was smooth, a purr that rumbled out of his chest. Stiles swayed forward without meaning to, wanting the comfort that his voice had provided for so long. He held himself back, kept uncalloused fingers tucked into the pockets of his jeans as he hunched forward.

He wouldn’t allow himself to touch them.

“Peter, I just—” his chest ached, filled with despair that made it hard to breathe. This body, this foreign, alien body, wasn’t his and he wouldn’t allow it to hurt anyone else he loved. “I can’t—” his voice broke again, and he cleared his throat before forcing out, “I don’t love you.”

“A lie,” Peter said quietly, his eyes flashing blue as he tapped his ear. “I thought you knew you couldn’t lie to me, sweetheart.”

Stiles shook his head, curling his hands into fists where they were still hidden inside his pockets. His fingernails dug into his palms, longer than he’d ever been able to get them before. He no longer bit them, and he’d hated the sensation when he’d tried.

“You didn’t kill Allison,” Chris told him quietly. When Stiles looked up, finally unable to keep his head down, Chris’ eyes were shining. “You didn’t take her away from me. It wasn’t your fault. But this? You _leaving_ us? That’s _your_ choice.”

“Then...” Stiles’ voice trailed off as he took a deep breath. He blinked his eyes up at the ceiling, and he told himself he wasn’t going to cry. He was breaking his own heart, after all. “Then it's a choice I’m making.”

Chris opened his mouth, fury in his eyes, but Peter placed a claw-tipped hand on his forearm and Chris’ mouth clicked shut. “If he wants to leave us, Christopher, then let him.”

Stiles nodded even as his chest broke open and his heart spilled out. A tear slipped down his cheek and he wiped it away with a shaking hand. He took a step back, only sparing a single glance at the two men he loved more than anything in the world, before he left.

* * *

Stiles’ hand shook as he tried to get his key into the lock. He couldn't calm down, no matter how many deep breaths he took. His chest ached, and there was a knot in the back of his throat that was making it hard to breathe and harder to think. He closed his eyes as he leaned forward, resting his head against the cool wood of his front door.

It felt like his heart was splitting apart. Stiles had never felt like this before, but if this was how his father had felt after his mom had died—well, he wouldn’t blame him for drinking his sorrows away. Before this moment, he’d thought that nothing could ever hurt more than what it had felt like to watch the Oni stab Allison.

This was worse.

And maybe it was worse because this time, unlike during the aftermath of his possession and the horrible, painful months that followed it, he didn’t have Chris and Peter to turn to. It felt like he’d been turning to them for a lifetime, since the very first moment they got together and everything had changed.

It had been a cheesy pickup line, a throwaway comment, but it had changed everything. Stiles had said, _“I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes,”_ and the next thing he’d known, he was falling in love. It had been so good, and then the Nogitsune had taken over his mind and paraded around in his skin like it was a costume for him to wear.

Nothing had been good after that. Not Stiles, and certainly not his relationship. And he’d seen the toll that it had taken on Peter and Chris— _especially on Chris_ —and Stiles had known, from the first time he had kissed them, that he loved them more than he would ever love himself. That he would do anything for them, even if it hurt, because their happiness was more important than anything.

And so Stiles had decided that breaking up with them was for the best. Really. He couldn’t keep hurting them, not after he’d hurt them both so much already. He took a deep breath and reminded himself that this was for the best, that he was doing what needed to be done to ensure that the two men he loved more than life itself would be happy.

It didn’t matter that it broke his own heart. They would be better off without him.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are much appreciated!  
> [my dreamwidth](https://lavenderlotion.dreamwidth.org/) and my [my tumblr](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/)


End file.
